Dai Rantou Lap Pillows

You mean to tell me I DON'T have six pack abs like Johnny Mundo of Lucha Underground  www.prowrestlingtees.com/media…  ?  SHOCKED, SHOCKED I AM, at this revelation!  Well, Iosu might not be as hard-bodied as Mundo's IRL fiancee Taya Valkyrie i.ytimg.com/vi/wRfzgjE4MWM/hqd… , but she's got a job here at Rudeboy308 HQ and was co-interviewed by a woman named Valkyrie [Bikini Warriors].

Valkyrie said to Iosu, "Yes, feeling up Rudie is a great reward for taking out all those filthy Pedobears with my sword-slinging comrades.  If you go lower than his abs, you can feel what kind of sword HE slings!  [*pulls the "man-a-conda" out of my trousers*]  My fellow blondes from my title, Paladin and Dark Elf, have sworn off treasure hunting, embarrassing traps, and idiot monarchs now that we've hit the mother lode working for Rudie darling here at Rudeboy308 HQ.  Believe the hype!"  Iosu snapped pictures of my package with her digital camera, then switched to video mode, saying, "My friends would think I Photoshopped a python between his legs, so this video will prove that the hype is real!  Now let's give them a real show."

For the next FIVE hours, Iosu got interviewed REAL GOOD, and she paused for still photos in which she had the most pr0n-worthy kinds of scenes--the gasp of fright at a big one like mine; a "Monsters of Cock" box cover worthy shot; a shot of her trying to deep throat me; a paizuri shot with the head of my unit practically going up her nostril; and the most wonderful ahegao faces.  Iosu had Valkyrie posed in many of the same kinds of shots.  Eventually, at the five hour and one minute mark, both Iosu and Valkyrie had to be wheeled off to HQ hospital to rest up.  

I was still a bit knackered from those interviews and with Beth and Garnet last night after I took them to a local metal show at The Handlebar that included my HQ's own metal bands Pedodeath and Electric Spanking.  That's when Drs. Narumi [Night Shift Nurses] and Miyu [Oppai no Ouja 48] came in with the newest form of the elixir that keeps me going, now in peanut butter banana flavor.  They also brought in Dark Elf dressed as a naughty nurse, because she didn't get to be in an interview.  Instead, she got to be a guinea pig in this latest experiment, and Miyu said as she set up the camera, "I hope you weren't planning on going anywhere for the next couple of days, Nurse Dark Elf, because you won't be able to walk or even get up out of bed once Rudie is done with you.  Of course, once he wears you out, we'll be next in line."  Narumi fed me the elixir, and within a couple of minutes, the "man-a-conda" reared its stout head at Dark Elf.  FOUR hours later, Dark Elf was down and DOMA, and as I and my unit turned to Miyu and Narumi, both of them said in unison, "I love my job!"  Both of those doctors won't be up and around for a couple of days either.

Excellent work on this piece, and also on Tumblr, and congrats on Etsuko coming to Quamp Inc.